Looking back to move forward

[WARNING! READING AHEAD!]

happy new year all…..

I guess its a bit too late for that

Usually people are excited when their birthday slowly inches in even when there people who don’t really celebrate it, when your family/ friends have done the effort of doing something special on your birthday, you can’t help but smile.

I look at my birthday as my track record of what I have done artistically as this year’s birthday wasn’t something I really looked forward to, for the past two years my majelah has been on a snail pace (I bet the snail would have beaten me ¬†at this point), barely posted any sort of artwork nor have I drawn anything, its as if the last 7-8 years of my life meant nothing to me because when I will look at my sketchpads, I will drawings of an aspiring artist who wants to do something big, I didn’t want to look at those sketchpads because I used to be that aspiring artist who wanted to do major things for the majelah, so I avoided my sketchpads the entire day until I decided to face the truth and accept that I have fail to do what I planned, to accept that the majelah project meant nothing to me.

Its funny how the human memory works, if you put enough emotion into one action, everything during that moment will be recorded, that’s what happened to me when I was looking at those sketchpads(and I forgot I had a lot of them), memories and emotions connected to those memories started to rush through me as if though I was living them again, the more I looked at my older sketchpads, the more I realized how much I have progress and I was able to find small incorrect mistakes the young artistic me would have never find. Until it hit me, maybe I was doing this all wrong, I shouldn’t be wasting my birthday on things I failed to do, I should look at things I was able to succeed and learn from it, it is true that the majelah hasn’t progressed at all but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for it, I am using a 3d modeling software to make a 3d model of the setting the characters are in, I am constantly thinking and rethinking how the story is supposed to follow and fine tuning it.

This birthday has made me learn that yes we should look and learn from our failures and refine ourselves but to also look at what we have managed to succeed. Out of all the pronouns I can think of the one that fits the most is “With failure comes development, with patience comes wisdom”.

Phoenolf out (O_O)/

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