Looking back to move forward

[WARNING! READING AHEAD!]

happy new year all…..

I guess its a bit too late for that

Usually people are excited when their birthday slowly inches in even when there people who don’t really celebrate it, when your family/ friends have done the effort of doing something special on your birthday, you can’t help but smile.

I look at my birthday as my track record of what I have done artistically as this year’s birthday wasn’t something I really looked forward to, for the past two years my majelah has been on a snail pace (I bet the snail would have beaten me  at this point), barely posted any sort of artwork nor have I drawn anything, its as if the last 7-8 years of my life meant nothing to me because when I will look at my sketchpads, I will drawings of an aspiring artist who wants to do something big, I didn’t want to look at those sketchpads because I used to be that aspiring artist who wanted to do major things for the majelah, so I avoided my sketchpads the entire day until I decided to face the truth and accept that I have fail to do what I planned, to accept that the majelah project meant nothing to me.

Its funny how the human memory works, if you put enough emotion into one action, everything during that moment will be recorded, that’s what happened to me when I was looking at those sketchpads(and I forgot I had a lot of them), memories and emotions connected to those memories started to rush through me as if though I was living them again, the more I looked at my older sketchpads, the more I realized how much I have progress and I was able to find small incorrect mistakes the young artistic me would have never find. Until it hit me, maybe I was doing this all wrong, I shouldn’t be wasting my birthday on things I failed to do, I should look at things I was able to succeed and learn from it, it is true that the majelah hasn’t progressed at all but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for it, I am using a 3d modeling software to make a 3d model of the setting the characters are in, I am constantly thinking and rethinking how the story is supposed to follow and fine tuning it.

This birthday has made me learn that yes we should look and learn from our failures and refine ourselves but to also look at what we have managed to succeed. Out of all the pronouns I can think of the one that fits the most is “With failure comes development, with patience comes wisdom”.

Phoenolf out (O_O)/

RISING ARTIST’S NOTE BLOG THING #16

[WARNING!! READING AHEAD!!]

I wish you all a happy new year

Aside from all the greatest things that happened, I am kinda disappointed in myself mainly because I didn’t really have done much drawing even though I have a lot of free time, this goes down to my tendency to procrastinate and how easily I get distracted…..its funny how working on something for 7 years still isn’t enough to make me spend the majority of my time on it.

out of all the things I want to achieve, this majelah project is on the highest not because I have to but because I want to and I hope this coming new year, I will force myself to finish what I started.

I don’t know how people do this

[WARNING!! READING AHEAD!!]

0877-2646-6887 | Arcadia

after a long time, me and groudon are once again reunited

it puzzles me, how people manage to post blogs, videos, artwork and even music on a daily basis. I tried to post blogs and artworks online but as I have tried to do that, I learned that, I am somewhat of a conservative person and to be honest, its not a good thing in this time and age

and its that very reason why I wanna try posting stuff online but I can’t, mainly because I am not much of a person who can not express their thoughts properly, as for my art, I barely draw actual artwork, most of my efforts go to practicing and applying what I’ve practiced on to my majelah hence not much effort goes to actually drawing a piece worth putting online.

I will keep on trying to get out of my conservative mindset by posting more blogs and such, anyway I wish you all a good day

Knights in broken armor

[WARNING!!! READING AHEAD!!!]

under-armour-demons-souls-knight-warrior-armor-arrows-shield-helmet-broken-325502

Dark souls is an interesting game, despite the huge amount of memes and parodies that it produced, deep down, the game has a deeper meaning, through greater perseverance, you can achieve great things in the game even when the game throws odds that stack up against you.

As much as I would love to talk about dark souls but I wanna talk about something else, people view failure as a negative thing, that somehow failing to do something means you are incompetent and people feel disgraced when they fail multiple times (I am referring to anything that they’re doing) but as I grew, I now see failure as something to accept and learn from  how can you learn to draw faces at different angles without making all faces look horribly disfigured, how can a dancer become one of the best without falling over many times and how can carpenter make fine furniture without having injure themselves many times.

my point is, learn from your failures

#TooRealForMe

[WARNING!!! READING AHEAD!!!]

Our imagination is what helps us separate reality from fiction

The last couple of years have seen a massive jump in computer technology, ranging from CPUs to how much the PC uses energy and one of the greater things the majority of humans always gets excited about is the increase in graphics.

We have jumped from characters made out of pixels to characters made out of high-res polygons so high, my somewhat beefed up laptop couldn’t handle it. But just because it has higher graphics doesn’t make everything better, no I am not talking game-wise (although that is a topic in itself), I am talking about the affects of prolonged exposure to ultra high quality graphics, let me give an example, VR is slowly becoming a thing in our daily life (I think it already has become) and its most prominent use is in horror games where people using VR would need to change their pants due to how frightening the game is but 20 years ago, developers had to make due with whatever their hardware was capable of and still managed to scare people in that time, the difference between the two timelines is how close to realistic games have become.

When using VR and the games graphics are close to realistic, the user themselves will slowly lose touch of reality and think the game world is real and this is what terrifies me the most, graphics becoming so real, you can’t tell the difference, you lose grip of reality granted some people play games with graphics so realistic, you can see the character’s sweat pores but some don’t, there are a category of people who can easily lose grip of reality.

I do support progression in technology and such but I think we have reached a point in graphics production and we should stop, or else at some point, a teenager can download an ultra hi-res model of whatever famous idol and use it in blender 31.50F

A herd of nerds 

[WARNING!!!! READING AHEAD!!! ]

We live in strange times indeed
It’s strange…. A nerd can befriend another nerd in real life, a nerd can date another nerd in real life, a nerd can marry another nerd in real life.

I am saying this because as I was growing up, being a nerd (nerd in a general term, like reading comics, Manga, playing card games and such) was a closet thing, not something that you share in a normal conversation or else people would think you’re weird and become subjected to bullying, it was rare in those times to find people of similar interests, I am glad I grew up in a geek/otaku/nerd family because I rarely found people in my school who were nerds but now in these current times, kids are wearing their favorite super heroes shirts in schools and make lots of friends that way.

These current times is a blessing to geeks such as us, we can openly discuss our favorite comics/manga and such without the fear of getting bullied or labeled as “weirdos” (I bet even bullies now wear batman/superman shirt)